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  • Date Mega.com

    Good Evening my fellow Itulip-ers
    I have a sad tale to share with you tonight, it seems that I am lacking some very important skills, diplomatic skills, tacit that sort of thing.

    This deficiency was discovered while I was on of my fav dating sites here in the UK. I met a number of good interesting people on there including the cute fit Israeli female I had last year (my way of fighting for Palestine, in a round about way).

    Well suddenly I got a message from some female in Wales complaining about my webpage. She was not happy that I said most people are sheep & not to talk to me unless they knew what a Fiat currency was.

    I clicked on her site to see that she was some sort of Hybrid, Fat cow meets sperm whale. However in an attempt to foster goodwill I asked her what changes I should make to it?

    Whale:- “Well mike you need are more words about yourself, money is BORING..How do you describe yourself?

    Me:- Well thanks my dear, must confess I am rather new to all this, I see you use the words VoluptuousWhat does that mean?

    Whale:- It means I am Big Boned.

    Me:- I see, do you think I should talk about my charity work?

    Whale:- Yes, what is it…Animal rights?

    Me:- Er No, its more human welfare I am concerned with, helping F.D.Y.F’s

    Whale:- ?????????

    Me:- Financiallydistressed young females, this is a small niche but one that I feel is over looked in today’s “Charty-industril-complex”. To put it in a nutshell I give support to women whom have been kidded into massive debt, can’t pay. Student loans is a killer, poor dears were blagged into thinking that all they have to do is go to Uni for 3-4 years to get a degree in something totally useless like Media studies & POW, they got a 5 fig job & a company BMW.

    Whale:-, Are you joking?

    Me:- No, not at all…….i do need to be careful, there only so much budget to go round. So I got to sites like “Aduitwork.com” & agree to meet them…..usually in hotel rooms were I can access their needs. If she sez, “Am not shagging you!”….then I know she doesn’t require my help, however if she sez “OK” Then I issue her a cash sum to tier her over.

    Whale:- You disgusting, fowl evil man!, you are a disgrace to all decent men out there!

    Me:- Joyously I wouldn’t issue you with any funds, it appeals that you spend yours on your 1st love, FOOD!........Big hint here darling am 5 foot 7 & weight in at just on 12 stone & I think I am a bit over weight….your 5 foot five & weight 19 stone!....Perhaps if you STOPPED EATING FOR A WHILE, it might help.

    She cut me off at this point.

    I feel like Mr Spock, humans are strange……well the fat ones.

  • #2
    Re: Date Mega.com

    Mike, you are quite the character.

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    • #3
      Re: Date Mega.com

      This is the most politically incorrect thing I have ever read, and I can't stop laughing!

      Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Date Mega.com

        There are a number of very good looking middle age women about, most in France or the US..........This cow is an example of Britan at its worst. However the collaspe IS coming & she IS going to diet!

        Mike

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        • #5
          Re: Date Mega.com

          I don't know how poor people do it where you live, but over here the staples for poor people are white bread, peanut butter and macaroni-and-cheese. This makes them badly nourished but very fat.

          Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Date Mega.com

            My Dear .........it is simply a matter of them ed-u-cate themselves, there are plenty of "How to eat well for little cash" type books about. They SAVE money, feel better & have more get up & go...........but Hey, that would require EFFORT....

            Mike

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            • #7
              Re: Date Mega.com

              Originally posted by Mega View Post
              My Dear .........it is simply a matter of them ed-u-cate themselves, there are plenty of "How to eat well for little cash" type books about. They SAVE money, feel better & have more get up & go...........but Hey, that would require EFFORT....

              Mike
              Yep. Many people no longer know how to even boil water anymore. If it can't be popped in the microwave, they can't cook it.

              Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Date Mega.com

                The more you do for people, the more they EXPECT you to do for them.

                Mike

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