The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

[plinko]

I've been sitting around all day thinking serious thoughts about my life. Seeing that I feel uncomfortable even talking to most of my friends about this, I feel compelled to vent to the itulip community, and hopefully get some good advice.

A background of myself before my rant: I'm 25, I live in the same town I spent a good amount of time growing up in, and going to college. Despite this, I feel like I've never really settled here. I don't own many things because I've always thought that my young self would eventually move somewhere else (and it's still a possibility). Most of my money/positions has sat in cash over the years (which ended up being a great decision aside from not keeping up with inflation, but I've worked to fix that over the past year ). I've had the same job for the past four years (this is unusual compared to most of my friends, flipping jobs every two years), I have a good boss, I'm just perhaps underpaid a bit. Many of my friends say I'm probably in the best situation I could ever be in, but I feel like I am stunting my personal growth by staying where I am.
I often have a "sexy" vision of cashing out and leaving the country, cutting ties to everything expecting things to be better somewhere else. This can be seen by my posts in other threads about moving to NZ, CA, etc.

Options I'm currently considering:

1) Look into new jobs

2) Look into working my same job remotely, i.e. digital nomadding.

3) Going to graduate school in another country.


I guess I'm looking for anyone on itulip to provide advice, anecdotes, or suggestions of places worthy of moving to.

Disclaimer: to help explain things further, yes, I'm single.

[ThePythonicCow]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

In my view, plinko, ones 20's are the time to go strange places and live in diverse ways. Thus one learns over time what is the essence of ones self, and what is the accident of circumstance.

[cjppjc]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

In my view, plinko, ones 20's are the time to go strange places and live in diverse ways. Thus one learns over time what is the essence of ones self, and what is the accident of circumstance.

Great post. Very true.


Plinko:

There will come a time if you don't do some of the things you dream of doing, your estimation of yourself will diminish. Having said that, maybe you just "wish" to be bolder. If that is true, than it is even more important to shock yourself and bring yourself out of your comfort level.

[Sapiens]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

In my view, plinko, ones 20's are the time to go strange places and live in diverse ways. Thus one learns over time what is the essence of ones self, and what is the accident of circumstance.

From my personal experience, I concur. Great post.

[plinko]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

Thanks folks, I needed the support! My only major snag is that I'll have to sublet my apartment, hopefully the ordeal shouldn't be too bad.

It's funny, though, like I said before. I'm in what's currently being hyped as the best town to live in during this recession, and I'm frankly tired of being here after watching it transform into a hot, crowded, and now overpriced condo-zone.

In many ways, I want to use my savings to buy some cheap farmland, or just do some long-term traveling. I've spent too much time hedging and worrying at the expense of not chasing these ideas.

[Olduvai]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

I've always dreamed of moving to NZ.
But first I had to graduate.
Then I had a pretty good job.
Then I owned to much real estate to move easily.
Then I had a wife and kid.
Now I consider myself to being to old.
Sometimes I'm still dreaming.

If you wanna go, GO NOW.

[doom&gloom]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

If you can get the telecommute thing going, see the world! I have been to
nowhere near as much of it as I want, but those places besides the US have
included Estonia, Netherlands, Belgium, Mexico, Canada, Argentina, Uruguay,
Jamaica, and Spain. On my list is Chile and Brasil in the next few years. I like
the Latin American experience personally.

If you think of taking off for somehwre else that does not make English it's
primary language, I suggest Pimsleur language lessons. You can check them
out from the library, rip them to your iPod, and listen anywhere. Rosetta
Stone may the hot thing now, but you need a PC all the time for those
whereas Pimsleur is only audio based, so you can do it anywhere.

[BK]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

I'll take a shot at the alternate view.

Nothing wrong with being in the same community that you grew up in. Old friendships and connections can feel tired- boring -dull - but , they are also treasures.
There are lots of adventures you can have without leaving the Community. Take a backing pacing adventure through Europe with a two week vacation. Ski the Haute Route through the Alps if you are a Skier. Buy an airline ticket to a country you've never been to - make no reservations and see what adventures you can have without leaving your hometown.

Maybe Dorothy had it right "There is No place like home, there is no place like home".

I thing we humans sometime believe we need to move to have adventure and I'm not convinced that's true.

Best of luck with what ever you decide - but, there always is a middle ground in many of lifes decisions.

BTW- I moved away from my hometown.

[World Traveler]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

Plinko,

Very interesting post. I actually did what you are thinking about doing, when I was 26. I had spent my entire life in one city, up till then. Even attended university there, because it's such a big place. I used to think, you could live and die in Chicago and want for nothing, but I was also a little restless, and wanted to experience the sights and sounds of different places.

So at 26, I moved to Houston. The timing was good, I was single and had no responsibilities, except to myself. I have to say, the first year was the hardest, since I had to build a new support system. But, as they say, if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. I became much more outgoing, and made many more new friends than I would have in Chicago. And, since I felt that slinking back home, defeated, was not an option, I "tried harder" in most things.

It was both an exciting, fulfilling, and stressful, all at the same time. The best part was that since folks there did not have a preconceived notion, built up over many years, of who I was, it was a lot easier to grow and mature in ways that were personally fulfilling.

A few years later I was married, had a son, and a very good job, so just packing up was no longer an option. And truth be told, in my mid-thirties, I had no desire to do so.

For most people, the twenties are the golden age for re-shaping one's life, providing you don't have any children. Kids change everything...any changes in your own life have to take into account the impact on their lives. I've always thought I could do what I did because I was childless at the time.

One word of caution. I would never advise people to move to move away from "home" the way I did. I knew no one in Houston and didn't have a job lined up when I got there. So the economic stresses were considerable in my first three years. I blew through my savings very fast, while trying to get a decent permanent job, and thereafter truly lived on the financial edge for a while. THAT was very stressful.

And even for settled adults, exciting adventures in new places are possible. I've stayed put in Houston, but have taken many, many vacations overseas, to places where few Americans have gone. Usually with non-profit or educational groups, since that is a way to get to know the people and culture.

Best of luck in what you decide to do.

[jpatter666]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

Gaaahhh!! I should not have read this thread! :rolleyes:

My wife and I both traveled extensively when we were younger. Definitely look into it! At that age you have no problem staying in all manner (and level!) of hostels, sleeping on trains, whatever. And often you can find "youth" discounts. Do some internet searches -- hostels, room shares, etc, it's much easier to put together a shoestring trip these days.

May I recommend the Lonely Planet guides.

My wife and I just crossed the 40's. We've thought about taking a year or so off to really explore all the places we've wanted to see (but can't in a typical American two-three week vacation). No kids, house paid for. We've kind of put it on hold given the financial instability in everything but after reading this I hear those wild geese honking *really* loud.

Sigh....

[rabot10]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

Hey great post really got me looking at my life. I have been most everywhere, and done most everything (really) Must say looking back there was no place better than home, friends and family - jmo

PS may not know that if i had not done all of it, anyways good luck my young friend

[plinko]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

We've thought about taking a year or so off to really explore all the places we've wanted to see (but can't in a typical American two-three week vacation).

I have to agree with this. In many ways, I think the europeans have it figured out that people NEED vacation to clear their minds, and be creative.

I did manage to take a month-long international vacation earlier this year (had to take some unpaid leave to do it), and am finally realizing it isn't too bad, but going to an English speaking country will definately help in doing a full-time commitment.

[ricket]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

Wow, this was definitely an interesting thread.

My only solution to your question is that you can only hear the experiences of those around you and decide whether it sounds like you are capable of living that same lifestyle.

Many people talk about moving away. I spent the last 27 years of my life living in the same 5 mile radius. Went to Georgia Tech, got me a hard ass, well earned degree in Computer Science, and live in the same city that I grew up in while also knowing what it takes to get a good job, to keep it, when to quit it, and when to move on to the next level of your life. I have lived in ATL all of my life because I was born and raised here. I know nothing else. But that doesnt mean that I can't use the city I grew up in as a means to achieve what I really want in life.

I have worked hard to get what I want. I have made some sacrifices along the way. But the city or region that you live in? That's peanuts compared to the life you wind up living versus the life you *think* you will live. The joy in life is marvelling in the difference between the two.

[ricket]

Re: The process of finding oneself during a modern depression

*kabooom*

I think I just lost my mind again.