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Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

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  • Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

    http://www.timebomb2000.com/vb/showp...90&postcount=1

    Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.


    The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?

    Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's a$$ and a car hit us both.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

    Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

  • #2
    Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

    Is this serious?

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

      Spartacus,


      My god I LMAO on that one, thank you. I need that one after a truly horrible day at the office.
      We are all little cockroaches running around guessing when the FED will turn OFF the Lights.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

        Very funny. Sapiens RIP

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

          Originally posted by babbittd View Post
          Very funny. Sapiens RIP
          a much missed member of our community. no one has replaced him. don came close. where'd don go?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

            Originally posted by metalman View Post
            a much missed member of our community. no one has replaced him. don came close. where'd don go?
            +1 on both points

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

              It was mentioned elsewhere that Don is busy with real estate transactions of some kind?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

                that was the one of the last items of a personal note that he'd mentioned...
                i do hope all is well with him, i'm missing my daily fix of RE/subprime/meltdown that he was so effective/prodigious at digging up for us

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

                  Wasn't there some discussion of an annual award named after Sapiens for the iTuliper most respected/loved?

                  Coming up on time then for the nominations for the 2011 award.
                  Greg

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

                    Originally posted by babbittd View Post
                    It was mentioned elsewhere that Don is busy with real estate transactions of some kind?
                    I suspect the distraction was his book being published.
                    I just sent him a check for my copy.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

                      Originally posted by thriftyandboringinohio View Post
                      I suspect the distraction was his book being published.
                      Sounds like it might be worth a read! Do you have the title/publisher information? Thanks!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

                        Originally posted by astonas View Post
                        Sounds like it might be worth a read! Do you have the title/publisher information? Thanks!
                        Seconded. If anyone has the info, I'd be interested too.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

                          Don is coauthor of this book just out.

                          http://www.amazon.com/UnCrowned-Cham...9660432&sr=1-1

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