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A relative of mine works at an engineering firm in the Midwest. The secretary there sent this email to all employees:
Subject: Stimulus Payment Information
Stimulus Payment Info.
"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic
Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain
using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to
taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own
money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US
economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart on useless crap, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
Subject: Stimulus Payment Information
Stimulus Payment Info.
"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic
Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain
using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to
taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own
money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US
economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart on useless crap, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.