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WSJ:
Santa to lay off 3500 elves, 2/3rds of his staff, and shuttering 70% of his toy making operations. The remaining staff is mostly administrative kept around to manage the shut down,their pleas to Congress are going unanswered since the postal service due to layoffs is no longer picking up the mail on rural routes.
When asked why he was doing this, Santa replied "F**k this economy. No TARP, and FED won't let me become a bank holding company. It's always cold up here. Do you know what the energy bills were like when Morgan Stanley cornered the heating oil market! You can't run a proper nuclear power plant on ice you know. Now they won't roll my CP before Thanksgiving. Screw 'em."
We talked to several elves about to go unemployed. Adam the Dollmaker:
"What are we supposed to do now? Go to the Eskimo Casino and become dealers? Who's going to play the Beancounters?"
Julie the Doll Dressmaker:
"I always thought if things got tough I could go back to Iceland. Yeah, that's gonna happen, now. I'm checking on jobs for dog grooming in Sweden right now."
Tough time, indeed. But is Santa hopeful about the future?
"Hell no. The Easter Bunny is having trouble getting money for the Easter egg runup at his ranch, and the Tooth Fairy's Tooth Backed Securities have CDS rates at like 10000 bps. This thing is going into a hole. I might have to eat Donner this winter."
Santa to lay off 3500 elves, 2/3rds of his staff, and shuttering 70% of his toy making operations. The remaining staff is mostly administrative kept around to manage the shut down,their pleas to Congress are going unanswered since the postal service due to layoffs is no longer picking up the mail on rural routes.
When asked why he was doing this, Santa replied "F**k this economy. No TARP, and FED won't let me become a bank holding company. It's always cold up here. Do you know what the energy bills were like when Morgan Stanley cornered the heating oil market! You can't run a proper nuclear power plant on ice you know. Now they won't roll my CP before Thanksgiving. Screw 'em."
We talked to several elves about to go unemployed. Adam the Dollmaker:
"What are we supposed to do now? Go to the Eskimo Casino and become dealers? Who's going to play the Beancounters?"
Julie the Doll Dressmaker:
"I always thought if things got tough I could go back to Iceland. Yeah, that's gonna happen, now. I'm checking on jobs for dog grooming in Sweden right now."
Tough time, indeed. But is Santa hopeful about the future?
"Hell no. The Easter Bunny is having trouble getting money for the Easter egg runup at his ranch, and the Tooth Fairy's Tooth Backed Securities have CDS rates at like 10000 bps. This thing is going into a hole. I might have to eat Donner this winter."
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