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  • Re: Jokes Thread

    Originally posted by LargoWinch View Post
    The 16 Stages of Job Loss
    There's a shorter version of this:

    The 2 Stages of Job Loss
    Blogging (on the job)
    Job Lost
    Most folks are good; a few aren't.

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    • Re: Jokes Thread


      BP announced that they installed a wedding ring around the leaking pipe today,

      and it immediately quit putting out.

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      • Re: Jokes Thread



        The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their
        parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

        The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
        stories.

        There were all the regular type stuff, spilled milk and pennies saved.
        But the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Ernie
        was left.

        'Ernie, do you have a story to share?'

        Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a
        pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.

        She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.
        She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last enemy with her bare hands.'

        'Good Heavens' said the horrified teacher. 'What kind of moral did
        your daddy tell you from this horrible story?'

        'Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking.'
        Last edited by BiscayneSunrise; July 22, 2010, 07:59 PM.
        Greg

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        • Re: Jokes Thread

          I met a fairy today who said she would grant me one wish.

          "I want to live forever," I said.

          "Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"

          "Fine," I said, "I want to die after the Democrats get their heads out of their asses!"

          "You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

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          • Re: Jokes Thread

            Greg, that was great!

            Here is a goldie but goodie:

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            • Re: Jokes Thread

              Krugman I...

              (the best is at 0:27)


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              • Re: Jokes Thread


                He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room.



                Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.

                He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low,reassuring voice close to my ear.

                "Just relax."

                Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily.



                My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.

                When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm,full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.



                Probing, searching,knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.

                Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking `no' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say ...

                "Okay, ma'am," said a voice. "All done."

                My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling,holding out my purse.



                "You can board your flight now."















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                • Re: Jokes Thread

                  Very funny

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                  • Re: Jokes Thread

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                    • Re: Jokes Thread

                      Armageddon!

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                      • Re: Jokes Thread

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                        • Re: Jokes Thread

                          Not a joke but I thought some of you engineers would appreciate this:

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                          • Re: Jokes Thread

                            Guys we would have enjoyed presenting this 'material' . . .















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                            • Re: Jokes Thread

                              Only in Amerika:

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                              • Re: Jokes Thread

                                You can't take it back...

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