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I've been hoping to find the video clips from this online, but it still hasn't happened...
Bart to the Future
Written by Dan Greaney
Directed by Michael Mercantel
Original Airdate on FOX: 19-Mar-2000
summary from tv.com:
Lisa: As you know, we've inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump. How bad is it Secretary Van Houten?
Milhouse: [shows to a chart] We're broke.
Lisa: The country is broke? How can that be?
Milhouse: Well, remember when the last administration decided to invest in our nation's children? Big mistake.
Aide: The balanced breakfast program just created a generation of ultra-strong super-criminals.
Milhouse: And midnight basketball taught them to function without sleep.
Lisa: What about my pledge to build the world's largest bookmobile? Isn't there any money left for that?
Aide: No, and we've borrowed from every country in the world.
[..]
Lisa and Milhouse discuss ways to pull America out of the debt hole.
Lisa: If I'm going to bail the country out, I'll have to raise taxes, but in my speech I'd like to avoid calling it a, "painful emergency tax."
Milhouse: What about, "colossal salary grab."
Lisa: See, that has the same problem. We need to soften the blow.
Milhouse: Well, if you just want to out-and-out lie ... [Lisa doesn't object] Okay, we could call it a, "temporary refund adjustment."
Lisa: I love it.
Milhouse: Really? What else do you love, Lisa?
Lisa: Fiscal solvency.
[..]
Lisa: My fellow Americans and voting illegal aliens, I will not mince words. Your country needs you.
[cut to Moe's Tavern, where the patrons watch Lisa on TV]
[on TV] That's why today I'm proposing a temporary refund adjustment.
Moe: Refund adjustment? Hey, sounds good to me.
Lenny: Sure beats a tax.
Carl: We love you, President Simpson.
[cut back to the Oval Office]
Lisa: The months ahead will be long and arduous. But it's only through arduousity that you --
Bart: [walks into camera view, playing guitar and singing
to the tune of "Escape (The Piņa Colada Song)"]
If you like refund adjustments,
And the music I play,
Send a check to my friend Ralph,
[..]
The mood in Lisa's meeting room isn't much less hostile. The
% creditor nations go from wanting to be repaid to calling for Lisa's
% head. Just when things couldn't get worse, Bart walks in.
Bart: You guys should relax; you'll live longer.
Lisa: Bart, you're supposed to be at Camp David.
Bart: [aside to Lisa] You're meeting with debt collectors and you don't want my help? Do you know how crazy that is?
[to the creditors] Guys, the thing is, we totally have the money, and we tried to wire it to you, but you know how banks screw up.
Frenchman: I do not understand.
Bart: We tried to call you all day Saturday.
German: We were there Saturday.
Bart: Dude, I know. I left a message with some guy named Hans.
German: Hans?
Bart: He might have been a temp. Very surly.
German: We have had a lot of turnover.
Chinese Man: You pay now! Now! [pounds fist on table]
Bart: What happened to you, China? You used to be cool.
Chinese Man: Hey, China is still cool. You pay later. Later! [pounds fist on table]
Bart: Solid. The rest of you go on home, and look in your mailboxes, cause I totally remember sending checks out.
[murmuring, the creditor nations' representatives leave]
Lisa: Thanks, Bart. You bought us some time. What can I do to
thank you?
Bart: Legalize it.
Lisa: Legalize what?
Bart: [smiles]
Lisa: [realizes] Ohhh, oh. Consider it done.
China still cool?
Bart to the Future
Written by Dan Greaney
Directed by Michael Mercantel
Original Airdate on FOX: 19-Mar-2000
summary from tv.com:
The Simpsons go to an Indian casino when their vacation plans fall apart. Bart encounters a wise Indian chief who tells him his future. Bart becomes a pot-smoking, unemployed slacker who has Ralph Wiggum as his roommate. He regularly begs a blinded Flanders for money (Rod and Todd are gay). Bart tries to lead a band, but he fails. With Lisa as the newly elected President of the United States, he goes to mooch from her. She is very ashamed of him and she is also busy trying to think of a way to get the United States out of debt. Meanwhile, Homer is busy trying to find Lincoln's gold. Lisa tries to hike taxes by using creative phrasing to trick everyone when Bart accidentally reveals that it is actually a tax hike. America owes money to a number of nations, so Lisa invites their leaders to Washington. She sends Bart away so he won't screw up everything again, but Bart manages to return and talks to the nations. Bart manages to save the day this time and with that, his vision ends and the family goes home.
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/BABF13Lisa: As you know, we've inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump. How bad is it Secretary Van Houten?
Milhouse: [shows to a chart] We're broke.
Lisa: The country is broke? How can that be?
Milhouse: Well, remember when the last administration decided to invest in our nation's children? Big mistake.
Aide: The balanced breakfast program just created a generation of ultra-strong super-criminals.
Milhouse: And midnight basketball taught them to function without sleep.
Lisa: What about my pledge to build the world's largest bookmobile? Isn't there any money left for that?
Aide: No, and we've borrowed from every country in the world.
[..]
Lisa and Milhouse discuss ways to pull America out of the debt hole.
Lisa: If I'm going to bail the country out, I'll have to raise taxes, but in my speech I'd like to avoid calling it a, "painful emergency tax."
Milhouse: What about, "colossal salary grab."
Lisa: See, that has the same problem. We need to soften the blow.
Milhouse: Well, if you just want to out-and-out lie ... [Lisa doesn't object] Okay, we could call it a, "temporary refund adjustment."
Lisa: I love it.
Milhouse: Really? What else do you love, Lisa?
Lisa: Fiscal solvency.
[..]
Lisa: My fellow Americans and voting illegal aliens, I will not mince words. Your country needs you.
[cut to Moe's Tavern, where the patrons watch Lisa on TV]
[on TV] That's why today I'm proposing a temporary refund adjustment.
Moe: Refund adjustment? Hey, sounds good to me.
Lenny: Sure beats a tax.
Carl: We love you, President Simpson.
[cut back to the Oval Office]
Lisa: The months ahead will be long and arduous. But it's only through arduousity that you --
Bart: [walks into camera view, playing guitar and singing
to the tune of "Escape (The Piņa Colada Song)"]
If you like refund adjustments,
And the music I play,
Send a check to my friend Ralph,
[..]
The mood in Lisa's meeting room isn't much less hostile. The
% creditor nations go from wanting to be repaid to calling for Lisa's
% head. Just when things couldn't get worse, Bart walks in.
Bart: You guys should relax; you'll live longer.
Lisa: Bart, you're supposed to be at Camp David.
Bart: [aside to Lisa] You're meeting with debt collectors and you don't want my help? Do you know how crazy that is?
[to the creditors] Guys, the thing is, we totally have the money, and we tried to wire it to you, but you know how banks screw up.
Frenchman: I do not understand.
Bart: We tried to call you all day Saturday.
German: We were there Saturday.
Bart: Dude, I know. I left a message with some guy named Hans.
German: Hans?
Bart: He might have been a temp. Very surly.
German: We have had a lot of turnover.
Chinese Man: You pay now! Now! [pounds fist on table]
Bart: What happened to you, China? You used to be cool.
Chinese Man: Hey, China is still cool. You pay later. Later! [pounds fist on table]
Bart: Solid. The rest of you go on home, and look in your mailboxes, cause I totally remember sending checks out.
[murmuring, the creditor nations' representatives leave]
Lisa: Thanks, Bart. You bought us some time. What can I do to
thank you?
Bart: Legalize it.
Lisa: Legalize what?
Bart: [smiles]
Lisa: [realizes] Ohhh, oh. Consider it done.
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