Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

[BadJuju]

Some of you might remember my post about buying land. Now, I come to you because I have discovered land that I want to buy that is a great value. The catch is that my grandmother owns it and she wants to sell it to a stranger, despite the fact that it would be an immense boon in helping me launch myself. I have every intention of paying her the full amount up front.

Anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? It is incredibly vexing to see great land that you know could be yours, yet for it to be denied to you for no good reason.

[jk]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

your grandmother is a wise woman. if the land goes up in value, all your siblings and cousins and uncles and aunts will feel like you owe them something. [i have not starred in this movie, but i've seen it.]

[World Traveler]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

Sticky stuff in family situations. For 40 years, my mother owned a 3-flat in a Chicago neighborhood that had been gentrified starting around 1980, so property values were up signficantly by late 1990's. After my father died, she wanted to sell and move into a retirement community. She got an appraisal and her niece offered to buy it. She gave niece a break on price, by deducting 6% since realtor would not be needed. Then she purchased retirement apartment. Meanwhile, for reasons unknown, my cousin had to string out pruchase for several months, so now Mom's got house and apartment expenses. She was very close to this niece, so she said nothing, but she did complain to me (I couldn't do much, I live 1000 miles away, and no means/desire to purchase/maintain house. And she wasn't willing to cancel pending sale due to close relationship with niece).

Now this a woman who planned to use house sale to finance rest of her golden years (house was #1 contributor to her life savings). My cousin finally got her act together and bought/paid for house. 2 years later my mother told me that house had been sold again.

So I checked out new sales price on-line and never told my mother what it was. Cousin had sold house for nearly double purchase price from my mother. This cousin is wealthy, had been in real estate business for years, etc. etc. To this day, my mother still doesn't know that re-sale price - I don't have the heart to tell her and I don't think my cousin will...

Truth be told, I think my mother could have done much better for herself if she had dealt with a non-relative when she decided to sell house. No emotions to get in the way. No possibility of destroying family peace/love by driving a harder bargain, etc...

Just my 2 cents worth of comments!!

[BadJuju]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

The difference is that she wants to sell it to someone else as well for the same price. So there is no logical reason not to want to sell it to a family member, especially when they can pay it all up front.

[c1ue]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

From a family relation standpoint, jk's point is very valid.

What you might consider is if there might be some type of tax or ent type beneficial situation by which her selling the land to you is better.

For example, if you need the land primarily to live on (as I recall) - you could instead get a long term lease from her.

This way she retains ownership of the land and there can be no question of favoritism. The lease could contain an option by which you would have first option to buy in a necessary sale situation with the price determined by some type of objective appraisal - this would protect you in the case of the land potentially going somewhere else - especially if the contract also contains a reimbursement option should the land owner choose to evict the building...

If on the other hand the money is needed from the sale, then it might be wise to consult those family members who might have an interest to see if there are any possible conflicts before escalating your persuasian.

[Spartacus]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

your offer is identical and she's planning to take the other offer?

that's whacked, dude

(IF your offer's identical), my suggestion is to either or both:
1 offer a little more than the other offer
2 lay a HEAVY guilt trip on her. Maybe something like "keep the land in the family" sentimental value stuff Recruit her children & grandchildren to do the same.

Some of you might remember my post about buying land. Now, I come to you because I have discovered land that I want to buy that is a great value. The catch is that my grandmother owns it and she wants to sell it to a stranger, despite the fact that it would be an immense boon in helping me launch myself. I have every intention of paying her the full amount up front.

Anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? It is incredibly vexing to see great land that you know could be yours, yet for it to be denied to you for no good reason.

EDIT: I wanted to speculate on her possible reasons but it would be a total shot in the dark, so I purposely avoided that. ... I happily defer that to others who've experienced something similar.

[strittmatter]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

your grandmother is a wise woman.

,

I would tend to agree.

These situations can become some of the stickiest, touchiest episodes known to man. Resulting resentments that are cultivated - whether they stem from something real or imagined - can and do affect family relationships from then on.

Maybe she is aware of this.
Maybe other family members are also interested.
Maybe her desire is to distribute the proceeds evenly via a sale to an outside party.

Different people from different generations have different motives and methods. It will help you to gain an accurate understanding of exactly what hers are.

[jimmygu3]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

your offer is identical and she's planning to take the other offer?

that's whacked, dude

(IF your offer's identical), my suggestion is to either or both:
1 offer a little more than the other offer
2 lay a HEAVY guilt trip on her. Maybe something like "keep the land in the family" sentimental value stuff Recruit her children & grandchildren to do the same.

OK, grandma needs to give you more info. If she doesn't want to sell to a family member for jk's reasons, that's fine. I imagine she would appreciate you helping her market it properly to obtain the best price. Then you have done something nice for your grandmother and avoided family conflict. Then go find a similar deal for yourself.

If she (and you) are not concerned about family resentment, then she needs to allow you to bid against the other offer.

FWIW, I considered buying my childhood home from my parents but due to potential family conflict I instead bought a similar home from a third party. I'm very glad I did. Otherwise there would have always been uncertainty in the minds of relatives, friends and neighbors.

Good luck.

Jimmy

[cjppjc]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

I assume you have told your grandmother about your desire to purchase the land and she would rather sell it to another party. In this case your only chance is to stay close with her and NOT bring the subject up. When you are with her, you must AT ALL TIMES KEEP IT IN YOUR MIND THAT SHE SHOULD SELL THE LAND TO YOU.

This is not easy to do. Our thought are always straying. To assist you in keeping the thought, put something uncomfortable in your shoe. This will help you to remember your wish. Always keep it in your mind when you are with her.

[don]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

You may want to check out: "Never Sell Your Old Car to a Friend or Relative" It's been a best seller since the Model T ;)

[flintlock]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

Or... If its such a "good deal" at that price, you could be a loyal Grandson, and explain to her that the land is worth more than she is about to sell it for, and that she should raise the price.

[flintlock]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

I assume you have told your grandmother about your desire to purchase the land and she would rather sell it to another party. In this case your only chance is to stay close with her and NOT bring the subject up. When you are with her, you must AT ALL TIMES KEEP IT IN YOUR MIND THAT SHE SHOULD SELL THE LAND TO YOU.

This is not easy to do. Our thought are always straying. To assist you in keeping the thought, put something uncomfortable in your shoe. This will help you to remember your wish. Always keep it in your mind when you are with her.

lol.

You forgot the part about "allow simmering resentment to fester".

[stanley2008]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

Go through a realtor, form a numbered holdings company. Fund it.

Make an anonymous offer from your agent to your relative. Make a big deposit, and make your offer higher than the others if you want it to be accepted.

Let all your siblings and other relatives know that granny is selling the property on the open market for anyone to consider

This way everyone gets what they want.

Your relative sold to a stranger - the numbered holdings company, and you control the company and that's all there is to it.

If she prefers to sell to a stranger like that, then just comply.

The price will be as fair as if you had purchased it from some other stranger. There is nothing preventing you from buying anything you want to buy, just don't take advantage of your relatives, and doing it this way should keep your karma clear.

[BigLandbaron]

Re: Convincing a Relative to Sell You Lands

Does she need to sell it? The lease idea is a good way to demonstrate how you will take care of it.

Yes, the use the guilt trip to try to keep it in the family. :rolleyes:

Have her list it. See what it's really worth. You can always counter any offers. Unimproved rural land is nearly illiquid right now, you may be surprised at the lack of interest unless the price is right .

Have her offer it to anyone within the family ... the first to come up with the amount of $$$ that she wants can own it. That should tame down their enthusiasm ... this is where they are forced to put a price on their emotions; you can enjoy clean ownership without future sibling bickering because they all had a chance for the same purchase price. ;)