Future headline

[cjppjc]

AIG Seeks More US Funds As Record Loss Looms


I remember an old SNL bit. Bill Murray was the news anchor and he's reading about when the Pope died, about a week after the previous Pope passed away. And he says "We did this story a month ago."
That's the way this is going to play out.

[Chomsky]

Re: Future headline

You've seen the light!

[D-Mack]

Re: Future headline

Didn't FIRE dominate the headlines back then?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Calvi

[don]

Re: Future headline

here's Another Future headline, circa 2012:

Republican Presidential Nominee Has Secret Afghan/Pakistan Withdrawal-With-Honor Plan

Details withheld until after the election for National Security purposes....

Or 2016 depending.

[cjppjc]

Re: Future headline

Ok here another from 2010, 2011:

Panal of economists see growth in second half of year.

[audrey_girl]

Re: Future headline

Ha Ha - this is fun



Dateline 2013:

President Obama requests twentieth bailout package

WASHINGTON (AFP) — Re-elected US President Barack Obama said more money might have to be pumped into troubled banks and promised not to let ailing auto companies fail, as he unveiled additional plans to steer the country out of prolonged recession.

Giving his first speech to Congress since his re-election, Obama also announced a new - new - new super duper lending fund in the "largest effort ever" to help small businesses and consumers and unclog credit lines, assuring nervous Americans their bank savings deposits were safe.

[cjppjc]

Re: Future headline

Date line about 365 days from now:

Caifornia today raised its sales tax to 11.25%

[FRED]

Re: Future headline

Ha Ha - this is fun



Dateline 2013:

President Obama requests twentieth bailout package

WASHINGTON (AFP) — Re-elected US President Barack Obama said more money might have to be pumped into troubled banks and promised not to let ailing auto companies fail, as he unveiled additional plans to steer the country out of prolonged recession.

Giving his first speech to Congress since his re-election, Obama also announced a new - new - new super duper lending fund in the "largest effort ever" to help small businesses and consumers and unclog credit lines, assuring nervous Americans their bank savings deposits were safe.

How about this one:

Interim President Clark issues emergency executive orders
January, 22, 2012 (Marketwatch)

Vowing to restore order and security to America's cities and credibility and integrity to US banking system, and stability to financial markets, Interim President Wesley Clark today issued a series of emergency executive orders.

The first Executive Order "Restoration of Banking" establishes Resolution Trust Corporation II, shuts US banks for two weeks for US auditors to determine solvency, places insolvent banks in receivership to Resolution Trust Corporation II, sells assets to solvent banks at fair market prices, and restructures banking to create a separation of banks into commercial and investment functions. More than one third of US banks have failed since 2008.

The second Executive Order "Emergency Housing Reconstruction Act" provides $500 billion to covert millions of vacant homes, apartment building units, and commercial buildings into public housing. The act both provides for millions of homes for more than 35 million unemployed and their families, and millions of construction jobs.

The third Executive Order "Emergency Transportation Act" provides $300 billion to purchase automobiles in storage since 2009 for resale at government food distribution centers established in 2010 under the Obama administration.

The fourth Executive Order "Emergency Monetary Stabilization Act" backs ever dollar with US Treasury gold at $5,000 per ounce, imposes a 99.9% sales tax on private sales of gold by US citizens, and a one time 100% gold sales tax deferment for gold sales to the Treasury before February 29, 2012. The market price of gold is today $4,934.

[cjppjc]

Re: Future headline

How about this one:

Interim President Clark issues emergency executive orders
January, 22, 2012 (Marketwatch)

Vowing to restore order and security to America's cities and credibility and integrity to US banking system, and stability to financial markets, Interim President Wesley Clark today issued a series of emergency executive orders.

The first Executive Order "Restoration of Banking" establishes Resolution Trust Corporation II, shuts US banks for two weeks for US auditors to determine solvency, places insolvent banks in receivership to Resolution Trust Corporation II, sells assets to solvent banks at fair market prices, and restructures banking to create a separation of banks into commercial and investment functions. More than one third of US banks have failed since 2008.

The second Executive Order "Emergency Housing Reconstruction Act" provides $500 billion to covert millions of vacant homes, apartment building units, and commercial buildings into public housing. The act both provides for millions of homes for more than 35 million unemployed and their families, and millions of construction jobs.

The third Executive Order "Emergency Transportation Act" provides $300 billion to purchase automobiles in storage since 2009 for resale at government food distribution centers established in 2010 under the Obama administration.

The fourth Executive Order "Emergency Monetary Stabilization Act" backs ever dollar with US Treasury gold at $5,000 per ounce, imposes a 99.9% sales tax on private sales of gold by US citizens, and a one time 100% gold sales tax deferment for gold sales to the Treasury before February 29, 2012. The market price of gold is today $4,934.

Yours isn't as much fun. Wesley Clark.

[GRG55]

Re: Future headline

Ha Ha - this is fun...

Dateline: Washington, D.C.; December 25, 2010

White House Announces Christmas Gift to the American People

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs announced this morning that the deed of title for Manhattan Island has been transferred back to the decendants of the Canarsee Delaware Native American tribe.

"Treasury Secretary Geithner and I agreed that in this season of giving, what could be better than giving away Wall Street" President Obama said in a written statement from his winter holiday home in South Chicago. "We wish the Canarsee people good luck; they're gonna need it."

Geithner's only comment was: "It was time to cut those suckers loose. Either that or we turn the whole place into a leper colony. My only concern is that John Mack and Lloyd Blankfein will take me off their Christmas card list..."

"We negotiated hard, but in the end we had to pay them to take it off our hands. It cost us another 60 Dutch guilders because they wouldn't accept American Dollars", Gibbs told a gathering of journalists in the West Wing. "The good news is that we got the beads back"...

[cjppjc]

Re: Future headline

Dateline: Washington, D.C.; December 25, 2010

White House Announces Christmas Gift to the American People

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs announced this morning that the deed of title for Manhattan Island has been transferred back to the decendants of the Canarsee Delaware Native American tribe.

"Treasury Secretary Geithner and I agreed that dumping Wall Street was the most effective way to fix the banking problem" President Obama said in a written statement from his winter holiday home in South Chicago. "We wish the Canarsee people good luck; they're gonna need it."

Geithner's only comment was: "It was time to cut those suckers loose. Either that or we turn the whole place into a leper colony..."

"We negotiated hard, but in the end we had to pay them to take it off our hands. It cost us another 60 Dutch guilders because they wouldn't accept American Dollars", Gibbs told a gathering of journalists in the West Wing. "The good news is that we got the beads back"...

Good news indeed. Very funny