Is there a reson for existance?

[Mega]

Why, I mean why......I feel its over, best years gone, lost best people around me......I could carry on for another 20-30 years but why?
if there was a point to life than I think I missed it.......I feel cold & empty .......

[shiny!]

Re: Is there a reson for existance?

Life is full of surprises, Mike. The next 20-30 years might have a lot of wonderful things in store for you. If you're depressed now, this might help. It changed my life:

[Woodsman]

Re: Is there a reson for existance?

Why, I mean why......I feel its over, best years gone, lost best people around me......I could carry on for another 20-30 years but why?
if there was a point to life than I think I missed it.......I feel cold & empty .......

After FRED locked me out my account, I decided that my iTulip posting days were done. But for you, Mike, I broke the fast.

Shiny, as she is most every time, is so very right, Mega man.

I'm an old surfer and surfing teaches you that each wave that comes is unlike the last one. Each wave is always experienced in a way that you've never encountered before. Sometimes the wave is a monster and shows you no mercy. Sometimes the ocean seems like glass and leaves you with nothing but boring tedium and a sunburned back. But sometimes a good wave comes along and gives you the ride of your life. Those are like a birthday party, like running down the stairs on Christmas morning knowing that your most wanted gift is waiting under the tree, like the first kiss, like the first time.

It's everything good compressed into a few moments. But then it's gone. Sometimes it's so good that I think it's never going to get better. But then I remember that I had that same thought so many times before and was proven wrong each time. Life is just like that, Mike. You have to keep paddling out to ride the waves. You have to endure the bad ones to ride the best ones. The waves keep coming but you have to be out to catch them. And there are only so many days left before the season ends.

The truth is, Mike, that we are responsible for designing our own life. No matter what, we have no one else to blame when it goes south and no one else will fix it for us. It's entirely up to us to meet the challenge, to find beauty, joy, excitement, curiosity, and all those things that make it worth living, even — especially — when the opposite occurs and when its painful or bland or sour. It's a hard slog sometimes, but you've done it before. So don't quit trying because there's every reason that you'll do it again, and better.

Mike, for me it's important to remember that my life isn't my own. It also belongs to those around me. Some of those folks are still showing up and so I think it's up to me to take care of myself because I believe I am important to others right now and others who have yet to make themselves known to me. And if that's true for me, then the same is doubly true for you, pal.

Death is patiently waiting for all of us while life hurries by. Death can wait, Mike. Life can't.

PS: You probably won't see another post from me in the threads, but you can DM me any time you want. I'll do my best to be there.

[shiny!]

Re: Is there a reson for existance?

Woodsman is right, Mike. Read his post again.

Clinical depression is a biochemical disease state that makes us unable to feel pleasure, regardless of our circumstances.

Depression is a clinical disease as real as diabetes or cancer or heart disease, but we treat it as if it's merely a matter of willpower to feel better. It's not. You can't snap out of depression sheerly by willpower. When our neurotransmitters are low, we can no more will ourselves to feel happy than a juvenile diabetic can will themself to not need insulin. No one shames the diabetic for having a malfunctioning pancreas. No one tells a diabetic to "snap out of it." But there's a stigma to having depression. There shouldn't be.

There are concrete steps you can take to feel better. It starts with understanding what's happening in your own body and brain. You want to feel happy and fullfulled? First learn why you have trouble feeling that way. As Moshe Feldenkrais said, "You can't do what you want until you know what you're doing. Once you know what you're doing, you can do what you want."

If you haven't done so already, take a break from all the things that get you down. Invest in yourself. Watch that video I linked above.

I'm not talking out of my hat, Mike. I have major clinical depression. It's something I live with every day. I take it seriously. I avoid doing things that make it worse, and I do things every day that help me feel better. Learning how to optimize my brain chemistry has become my avocation.