Sexodus- Males In Crisis

[jk]

Re: Sexodus- Males In Crisis

Based on their study, they conclude about 1 in 36 college women (2.8 percent) experience a completed rape or attempted rape in an academic year (defined as 6.91 months). The 1 in 5 statistic is extrapolated from the data over the course of a 5 year college career. It is a statistical projection and not a statement of fact. As excellent as the myth article might be, I don't know that it provides this degree of nuance as I read only the posted excerpt.

someone needs a probability and statistics review course. if the odds of assault in a single year is 1 in 36, and you assume that each year represents an independent trial [questionable i think], then over 5 years the odds of an individual experiencing at least one assault are 1-(35/36 ^5), or 0.131, or roughly 1 in 8.

[jk]

Re: Sexodus- Males In Crisis

The problem is that the way laws are designed today, men get screwed over big time if the marriage goes sour. Custody seems to favour the mother in most cases, and you have to pay alimony, which I honestly find ridiculous in todays day and age.

just an fyi. yes, custody in general favors the mother, the younger the child the more so. as to alimony, it goes both ways: there are women paying alimony to their former husbands. the amount of money depends on a number of factors, including the duration of the marriage prior to its dissolution.


one other comment about your post, verdo. people change. and they grow up and mature. you say you are in your early 20's. usually aroung the age of 30 +/- 2 [ie 28-32] people go through "the age 30 transition" [following the nomenclature of dan levinson, a now deceased psychologist at yale who did a number of the seminal studies on adult development]. at that time they review and re-assess all the choices they made in their early 20's. people who married early will often go through some marital turmoil, a substantial number may divorce. [this gets labelled a "seven-year itch" through the accident of timing.] people will re-assess career choices, or those who've knocked around in their 20's will settle into a career niche. similarly, people who haven't married, and have "played the field" in their dating lives, will find a partner they want to settle down with. [at least until around age 40, plus or minus, when they hit the mid-life transition.]

one other general comment on this thread: i think the ambiguous role of the residential college/university is a big problem here. it used to be "in loco parentis," and all kinds of rules governing sexual behavior were in place. when i was a college freshman, someone in a room with a member of the opposite sex had to leave the door open the width of a book. [this was slightly gamed by using a match book, but still....]. these rules were discarded during the course of my time at college, and now the university doesn't really know what its role is.

as institutions with internal rules of behavior [eg. you get expelled for cheating], they don't know how to handle the private behavior of their students. they now deal with these accusations of sexual assault without the strict rules of a courtroom: there is no sworn testimony with penalties for lying, no rule that anyone can confront his/her accuser, no cross-examination, and on and on. but somehow the institutions think they have to respond. they are not ready to say that private behavior is none of their business: go to the police if you want to make a criminal complaint. so there is no criminal complaint, there is instead an intra-institutional complaint with unclear rules of determination and consequences.




ps- when she was a freshman, my wife experienced what would now be labelled an attempted assault when she made the mistake of going to a frat party. no official complaint was even considered - i think this kind of thing was considered "normal." had MORE force been used, and more "successfully" for the perpetrator, there would have been a serious problem.

[jk]

Re: Sexodus- Males In Crisis

. Watch the movie Disclosure with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore where Douglas is accused of sexual harassment. His phone records the encounter, and proves his innocence.

i saw the play before it was made into a movie. iirc it had a much more ambiguous ending. as others said, life doesn't always work out so nicely. the other issue in the play/movie, is about the power relationship between the two protagonists: one was a professor, the other a student. power counts.

[lektrode]

Re: Sexodus- Males In Crisis

It's funny vt, I was chatting with a friend tonight about the police camera thing. He was advocating it too. My reaction was, "It didn't make a difference in New York, why would it have in Ferguson?" He didn't have a good response to that one. Of course, he's quite a bit more left than I am, so he was coming at it from the other angle. But I tend to think that more documentation and more footage probably isn't going to change the facts on the ground or the outcomes of the legal system as much as many people do. The way I think about it is: Work to change the statutes if you want a different outcome. Adding paperwork and surveillance probably won't make a too much of difference in the end game. Many people disagree. But I suspect that it's just another fool's errand.

i still think the entire 'militarization' of the copshops - nationally - along with the 'criminalization' of more types of 'victimless' behaviour is more about slopping the beltway hogtroff than it is about 'serving and protecting' - read: the doling-out of ever higher amounts of federally-funded mandates in the name of 'safety' and 'rights' which typically result with the unintended consequences of STRIPPING AWAY OUR MOST BASIC RIGHTS in the name of 'safety'

that and the tendency of the political class to be seen as 'doing something' about every perceived 'problem' - ie: state legislatures machinations with hundreds to thousands of new 'legislative initiatives' every year - and FOR WHAT?

when most of the body of US law has been in existence for hundreds if not thousands of years?

why in hell do we 'need' hundreds to thousands of NEW laws - every year???

case in point (and one of my fave pet peeves - and i wont even get into my newest pet peeve - quite literally, when one can be charged with a crime for taking ones companion animal with em in the car to the supermarket)

efforts by - tada!! - the party of the lawyers/tortbar/banksters - when its already 'illegal' to NOT where a seatbelt (in all but The Live Free or Die State, where adults STILL have the 'freedom of choice' to wear em or not)

to make seatbelts a 'primary offense' - meaning they can pull you over and cite you for merely the observation that you arent wearing a seatbelt?

when this hasnt a GD thing to do with 'safety' but EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE OVERZEALOUS ENFORCEMENT OF THE LETTER OF THE LAW for 'revenue enhancement' and nothing else.

and the more criminalized otherwise victimless/innocent everyday behaviour becomes.

oh - sorry for the off-topic comment...

[dcarrigg]

Re: Sexodus- Males In Crisis

but ive seen stats which suggest that divorce rates amongst bible believers are even worse than they are amongst atheist women.

Little graph about that from the GSS:




Of course it kinda makes you wonder how much of the green line consists of the old Catholic Divorce: (Live apart or on the couch but keep the rings, the paperwork, and these days the family health plan...)

[don]

Re: Sexodus- Males In Crisis

Little graph about that from the GSS:




Of course it kinda makes you wonder how much of the green line consists of the old Catholic Divorce: (Live apart or on the couch but keep the rings, the paperwork, and these days the family health plan...)

As well as the asumptions that people in an organized religion have happier marriages and/or it's better to stay in a bad marriage than get divorced.

[lektrode]

Re: Sexodus- Males In Crisis

....
Of course it kinda makes you wonder how much of the green line consists of the old Catholic Divorce: (Live apart or on the couch but keep the rings, the paperwork, and these days the family health plan...)

well... while i could say that i resemble that - typing as one who lived thru one of those....

As well as the asumptions that people in an organized religion have happier marriages and/or it's better to stay in a bad marriage than get divorced.

my mother tried to be(come) a 'good irish-catholic wife' - mostly to please the ole man's side of the family - but with her mother being one of the oldtime protestant fire-n-brimstone types (tho i never knew her to be that way) - and my mom being a 20something flight attendant when they met (which was the typical way of rebelling against almost everything her mother tried to instill) - with the ole man being a ww2 vet, and almost old enuf to be my grandfather (esp in some parts of the country) - it wasnt the first crack at marriage that did em in, but the 2nd - after they divorced and remarried each other the 2nd time - while us chillens split our time tween not 2, but 3 houses - as they tried to 'keep us all together' - and didnt do that bad of a job of it - with the 2 older ones (me+ #2) staying with pops and the younger 3 hangin with mom and all of us getting together on the weekends/sunday for dinner.

this was in the '70s and (apparently) the dawn of the 'diversity lifestyle' - altho my observations since only confirm what the above story and verdo talks about as more or less the reality of today's sitch (and we can mostly thank the indoctrination... uhhh... i mean... education, specifically the higher education - and 'justice' systems - along with the 'activists' within both - for most of that...)

[jpetr48]

Re: Sexodus- Males In Crisis

Quite sad to see this thread degenerate to a graph of religions. Guess this rationalization is the norm today. If we can't figure something out, and the problem starts with us (hint: accountability), we select groups we are not part of. Then we say they are all screwed up.

[Forrest]

Re: Sexodus- Males In Crisis

As well as the asumptions that people in an organized religion have happier marriages and/or it's better to stay in a bad marriage than get divorced.

Actually, staying in a marriage as well as getting into one is supposed to be within a community, or why are we bothering? Marriage through the ages has always been as much about security, finance and procreation as it as been about personal happiness. Without a rulebook for the marriage and the community it stems from, you don't have any mutuality to have a relationship on.

I don't say religion helps, only that the basics for a community, and thus for marriage partnerships exist as part of the package.

Either way, without a well negotiated marital agreement, written or not, success in marriage is always problematic. Success in marriage, however, is not supposed to be based on happiness...friendly contentment with flares of passion would be more to the point.