http://gloomberg.new.commie/urgent
San Diego, 12:01AM 10/31/07
An all points BOLO for a character, Spookster, has been issued by the FBI, DEA, NSC and President George W. Bush for apprehension and detention of this man.
He was recently reportedly seen in the Kurdish enclave of El Cajon attempting to solicit funds for support of the Turkish Army. When last seen he was pulling a cart with a barrel of oil and wearing a backpack assumed to be filled with gold bullion and headed for central San Diego.
It is believed that he is likely to show up at any place selling produce and attempting to exchange either oil or bullion for all pumpkins that he can buy. In some circles he is known as something like a financial Gorilla, and it is rumored his current focus is to corner the pumpkin markets.
Do not, repeat DO NOT attempt to engage this man in dialogue regarding peak oil, gold, or social issues. He IS ARMED with innumerable metaphors and is to be considered extremely dangerous. If by mistake one engages him in dialogue on any the aforementioned issues, expect to be soundly trounced.
He is believed likely to be masquerading as Hugo Chaves and may appear to be babbling in something other than Spanish. It would likely be Italian that to the untrained ear comes across as babble.
If spotted, notify the San Diego Zoo Loose Animal Squad, which is on alert with elephant gun tranquilizer darts. If captured, the "Gorilla" is expect to be caged indefinitely with the Zoo's greyback Ape "King Kong" who is known to be lonely and bisexual. Hopefully Spookster will be captured and confined for life with Kong.
San Diego, 12:01AM 10/31/07
An all points BOLO for a character, Spookster, has been issued by the FBI, DEA, NSC and President George W. Bush for apprehension and detention of this man.
He was recently reportedly seen in the Kurdish enclave of El Cajon attempting to solicit funds for support of the Turkish Army. When last seen he was pulling a cart with a barrel of oil and wearing a backpack assumed to be filled with gold bullion and headed for central San Diego.
It is believed that he is likely to show up at any place selling produce and attempting to exchange either oil or bullion for all pumpkins that he can buy. In some circles he is known as something like a financial Gorilla, and it is rumored his current focus is to corner the pumpkin markets.
Do not, repeat DO NOT attempt to engage this man in dialogue regarding peak oil, gold, or social issues. He IS ARMED with innumerable metaphors and is to be considered extremely dangerous. If by mistake one engages him in dialogue on any the aforementioned issues, expect to be soundly trounced.
He is believed likely to be masquerading as Hugo Chaves and may appear to be babbling in something other than Spanish. It would likely be Italian that to the untrained ear comes across as babble.
If spotted, notify the San Diego Zoo Loose Animal Squad, which is on alert with elephant gun tranquilizer darts. If captured, the "Gorilla" is expect to be caged indefinitely with the Zoo's greyback Ape "King Kong" who is known to be lonely and bisexual. Hopefully Spookster will be captured and confined for life with Kong.
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