Best Disclaimer Evah

[oddlots]

Via Ritholtz:

I like a legal department that has a sense of humor. This is the standard disclaimer that Contango Oil & Gas Company (MCF) includes with their quarterly earnings reports:

Lawyer Stuff
The future is unknowable. We have good intentions but all of our projections and estimates will be wrong, and could be materially wrong. Wildcat exploration is expensive, speculative and potentially dangerous. An offshore spill or explosion would be enormously expensive. We have insurance but it may not be enough. You could lose your entire investment. Don’t be lazy – read our 10-Q’s, 10-K’s and press releases, and if you lose money – please no tears.
“Don’t forget about risk-free T-bills in your portfolio…After inflation and taxes you’ll likely only lose 5-10% of your investment.”
- Contango V.P. Investor Relations

[dcarrigg]

Re: Best Disclaimer Evah

Via Ritholtz:

I like a legal department that has a sense of humor. This is the standard disclaimer that Contango Oil & Gas Company (MCF) includes with their quarterly earnings reports:

Lawyer Stuff
The future is unknowable. We have good intentions but all of our projections and estimates will be wrong, and could be materially wrong. Wildcat exploration is expensive, speculative and potentially dangerous. An offshore spill or explosion would be enormously expensive. We have insurance but it may not be enough. You could lose your entire investment. Don’t be lazy – read our 10-Q’s, 10-K’s and press releases, and if you lose money – please no tears.
“Don’t forget about risk-free T-bills in your portfolio…After inflation and taxes you’ll likely only lose 5-10% of your investment.”
- Contango V.P. Investor Relations

I always liked "in perpetuity, throughout the universe." I thought it was cute. A few years back it appeared on a customer-contract. I told them I don't sign anything that says "in perpetuity, throughout the universe," and had it struck from the contract before we'd sign. I figure it kept the legal departments busy. I used the same excuse to brush off some high-pressure sales tactics from a Sirius XM salesman. In truth, I was stuck in the store until the better half finished shopping...

[oddlots]

Re: Best Disclaimer Evah

Don't forget: "and in any and all media, whether such media is now known or developed later."

In fact I seem to recall reading "in any and all universes" on something, though maybe I'm making that up.

I just like the idea of a legal seminar on multiple dimensions.

[dcarrigg]

Re: Best Disclaimer Evah

Don't forget: "and in any and all media, whether such media is now known or developed later."

In fact I seem to recall reading "in any and all universes" on something, though maybe I'm making that up.

I just like the idea of a legal seminar on multiple dimensions.

Eh, if it came down to it, I'd just pay a cosmologist to make something up that wasn't covered by their ridiculous legalese...sorry buddy, it didn't cover D-Brane multiverses, only quantum multiverses. Gimme the cash. I'm outta here.

[jk]

Re: Best Disclaimer Evah

i like the idea of contracts that cover the multiverse, since if you litigate you're guaranteed to both win and lose.