Home Sweet Home

[don]

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — For a few hours at the mall here this month, Nick Griffith, his wife, Lacey Lennon, and their two young children got to feel like a regular family again.

Never mind that they were just killing time away from the homeless shelter where they are staying, or that they had to take two city buses to get to the shopping center because they pawned one car earlier this year and had another repossessed, or that the debit card Ms. Lennon inserted into the A.T.M. was courtesy of the state’s welfare program.

They ate lunch at the food court, browsed for clothes and just strolled, blending in with everyone else out on a scorching hot summer day. “It’s exactly why we come here,” Ms. Lennon said. “It reminds us of our old life.”

For millions who have lost jobs or faced eviction in the economic downturn, homelessness is perhaps the darkest fear of all. In the end, though, for all the devastation wrought by the recession, a vast majority of people who have faced the possibility have somehow managed to avoid it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/12/us/12shelter.html?hpw

[GRG55]

Re: Home Sweet Home

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — For a few hours at the mall here this month, Nick Griffith, his wife, Lacey Lennon, and their two young children got to feel like a regular family again.

Never mind that they were just killing time away from the homeless shelter where they are staying, or that they had to take two city buses to get to the shopping center because they pawned one car earlier this year and had another repossessed, or that the debit card Ms. Lennon inserted into the A.T.M. was courtesy of the state’s welfare program.

They ate lunch at the food court, browsed for clothes and just strolled, blending in with everyone else out on a scorching hot summer day. “It’s exactly why we come here,” Ms. Lennon said. “It reminds us of our old life.”

For millions who have lost jobs or faced eviction in the economic downturn, homelessness is perhaps the darkest fear of all. In the end, though, for all the devastation wrought by the recession, a vast majority of people who have faced the possibility have somehow managed to avoid it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/12/us/12shelter.html?hpw

Homeless shelter? The immediate question that comes to mind is "Where the hell are their families?".

My parents were Asian immigrants to Canada. This sort of thing is inconceivable for anyone from that part of the world.

When my wife's youngest sister ended up in serious difficulties some years ago, the response from her two other siblings was "Shouldn't the government help...". We were the only ones in the family to provide assistance. I honestly do not understand that attitude. Maybe we need to re-emphasize the family unit as the basic building block of our societies, instead of "family values"...whatever the hell they are...

[sishya]

Re: Home Sweet Home

Family unit espouses family values. The Western Govt have successfully replaced "Family" with "State". We are/going to experience the
consequence of that. The State Social Safety net will be long dead soon, I think so. These are new ideas which were just experimented by Govt for past 50 years, whereas Family/Tribalism(which is not the greatest either) has been here for centuries. Let's see which one outlasts. It is never a brave new world - same old world, unless human behaviour has fundamentally changed.

some strange anecdotes of Tribalism/Family

(1) In out small village/Town where I grew, most of the traders are Muslim whereas farmers are Christian(In other places it is reverse...) There is no much interaction other than financial even today but everything goes smooth. I have heard that when a Muslim trader looses money in a business enterprise, the elders call a feast among their members - where all bring money and donate at that time which can help him restart. Similarly Church Priest also does this, when a family is severely hampered and there is no immediate family help.. We see same in USA also like - "Dinner for Cancer" etc, but not for economic issues.

(2) I/others who are slightly well off, get sheared often because my father and mother each have 7 siblings(and their children), after getting sheared by State. But I have regrets only about the latter, just like when we have to send children to private tuition/school after paying for Public School via taxes.

[flintlock]

Re: Home Sweet Home

Homeless shelter? The immediate question that comes to mind is "Where the hell are their families?".

Took the words right out of my mouth.

The state has been doing its best to replace the family unit as safety net. But they couldn't step in unless there was a hole to move in to. Perhaps we should blame the corporations who move us around like chess pieces. But I also blame the materialistic and self-centered nature of people today. They don't want to be burdened with family, at least not until they actually need them. Be careful those bridges you burn.

[BK]

Re: Home Sweet Home

GRG55, excellent post!
I've been observing how differently American Families function when compared to Asian immigrant /first generation families. In American Families we have evolved (????) to compete against on another in terms of who can be the most successful. As a result its rare that siblings will help another sibling - ever one is is battling to be the best - in stead of finding ways to cooperate and be successful as a extended family.
As a result the Family members decide to go it alone when they are in dire straits. As a results American families make even worse choices when money gets tight.
The affluence of the 1980s and 1990s has convinced Americans that only 'screw ups in the family' hit challenging financial times. Materialism has infected our family relationships and our friendships as we all compete to be perceived as the 'Best or the Brightest'.

Requesting financial help or admitting to financial errors is completely unacceptable. We live in a 'Truman' world where everything is Great, Banks never fail, and the Economy is always just about to get better (the dark side of American optimism). If you are an American and ever express a non-optimistic view of the economy you are deemed bi-polar or manic-depressive. ;-) Winners win and Losers lose - two decades of financial engineering of the Federal Reserve have distorted even our family interactions.

I'm sure Asian Immigrant family units aren't without flaws - but, I suspect there is a better appreciation for the fickleness of economic life.

[wayiwalk]

Re: Home Sweet Home

If the patriarch or matriarch fought to "keep the family together", then that is still a common theme. But the consumerist model definitely points to a turn to ignore that. Flip side, a simple zen like email from a friend last week:

"Only Americans that buy into the "dream", don't have time on their hands."

To which I add, and don't have family to support them.

I deliberately chose to stay in the northeast, just 2 bridges away from where I grew up, to be near family. It doesn't allow me to afford a Mcmansion or a beemer on my engineer's salaray, but does allow the close, in person, from the heart perspective/advice when I need it that can only come from people that have known me my whole life.

And that is priceless.

[chr5648]

Re: Home Sweet Home

A refreshing thread, assures me that I'm not the only crazy one that like family values. According to our leaders/corporations/media/entertainment we're the crazy ones.

[strittmatter]

Re: Home Sweet Home

GRG55
"Where the hell are their families?".

Took the words right out of my mouth.

The state has been doing its best to replace the family unit as safety net. But they couldn't step in unless there was a hole to move in to. Perhaps we should blame the corporations who move us around like chess pieces. But I also blame the materialistic and self-centered nature of people today. They don't want to be burdened with family, at least not until they actually need them. Be careful those bridges you burn.

I'd say many of those families remain blissfully ignorant due to the "family pride" values being upheld by the aflicted. On the other side, the daily struggle to keep up with the mac-payment collector leaves little desire for taking on extra "baggage" in todays world.

Often I'm once again gratified by the extent of the core value lessons we recieved back in the poor days of youth, the days of black and white, put up or shut up, because that's all there was. My folks were priceless teachers to us kids, but even they surely had no idea the extent of the living fruit that those early days would later come to bear.

As I've said before we are peanut and cattle farmers by ancestry, but during the summer after 3rd grade (1975), my father put me to work out in the shop of his then fledgling agri-irrigation supply store sweeping floors and keeping the coke bottles gathered up and such. I knew I'd catch hell if dad caught me loafing, so I wore out more than one broom handle and lost count of the thumb blisters that summer. Every Friday my mother would call me into the office, show me my $52.76 weekly paycheck, then she'd send it to the savings bank. Towards the end of the summer I noticed my biceps had gotten bigger and I felt pretty good about the seeming chunk of cash I'd piled up. I could now afford many of those trinkets that had been on my wish list forever but I'll never forget the awkward feeling that had developed - getting my hands on those shiny things now didn't seem like such a good trade anymore. The wheels of cause and effect were starting to turn.

Not to imply that "we" are "above it all" or "smarter than" , but I sense the majority of itulipers are cut from this same basic mold.

Nothing special, it's just how it was.

[jiimbergin]

Re: Home Sweet Home

Homeless shelter? The immediate question that comes to mind is "Where the hell are their families?".

My parents were Asian immigrants to Canada. This sort of thing is inconceivable for anyone from that part of the world.

When my wife's youngest sister ended up in serious difficulties some years ago, the response from her two other siblings was "Shouldn't the government help...". We were the only ones in the family to provide assistance. I honestly do not understand that attitude. Maybe we need to re-emphasize the family unit as the basic building block of our societies, instead of "family values"...whatever the hell they are...

That would also be inconceivable in our family here in North Carolina. We do believe the famiy takes care of family.