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November 7, 2009
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Bridging the Workplace Generation Gap: It Starts With a Text
By ALINA TUGEND
IF we believe the advertisements, with plastic surgery and Spanx we can all look 25 until we drop. But apparently that’s not enough anymore — looking young doesn’t do you much good if you still act old.
And I don’t mean old as in groaning when you get off the couch or driving an Oldsmobile. (Oops, they’re not made anymore.) It’s far more subtle than that. It means wearing a watch (young people just check their cellphones), counting out exact change and still using a landline.
Does it even matter if my actions give away my age? We all grow old, even the coolest among us, and there’s not a whole lot we can do it about it. Do I really want to wrap my brain around the latest Internet fad or celebrity of the month just to appear young?
See, there I am being cynical and defensive, which is an old attitude (see No. 177), says Pamela Redmond Satran, author of the book “How Not to Act Old: 185 ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame” (HarperCollins, $14.99).
The point, she says, is not to look like a 26-year-old or even to necessarily act like one, but to be open to the fact that times have changed. And if we 40-plus-year-olds refuse to acknowledge that, we’re only punishing ourselves.
This is particularly true in the workplace. Much of the baby boom generation is going to want to — and, in many cases, going to have to — stay on the job longer. “But we won’t be working with our fellow septuagenarians, but with people our children’s ages,” Ms. Satran says.
Now, the generation gap is nothing new. In fact, it seems most people have recognized it since at least 40 years ago. In a Pew Research Center survey released this summer, 79 percent of respondents said they thought there was a generation gap, slightly higher than the 74 percent who answered affirmatively to the same question in a 1969 Gallup poll.
What’s interesting is that the generational divide is far less obvious than in the 1960s. Parents and their children dress similarly now, at least in casual clothes, and may listen to some of the same music. We don’t hear the ’60s slogan “You can’t trust anyone over 30,” but that’s probably because our children are silently texting it rather than shouting it.
Yes, much of what divides us now is technology. According to the Pew survey, while three-quarters of adults age 18 to 30 say they use the Internet daily, only four in 10 adults age 65 to 74 do so.
With cellphones, the difference is even greater: of adults 65 and over, just 5 percent get most or all of their calls on a cellphone, and only 11 percent sometimes use their cellphones to text. For adults under the age of 30, 72 percent use their cellphones for most or all of their calls, while 87 percent text. And according to my informal survey of two children living in my house, those under 18 years old text, oh, about 100 percent of the time.
The trouble is, even when I think I’m up to date, it turns out I’m not. Still sending e-mail? That’s so old. “Leave it to the evil young to get all of us old people addicted to e-mail and then to abandon the form in favor of texting and Facebook,” Ms. Satran writes. If you’re already hopelessly hooked on e-mail, like I am, just make them short and sweet — no rambling missives.
Do you obligingly leave a voice mail after the beep? Don’t bother if you’re calling someone younger than 30. They don’t listen to them. To see who called, they look at the missed calls on their cellphone (because they don’t use landlines, remember?).
But it’s not all about technology. Some of it is just attitude. The “old” management style was often harsh and combative, Ms. Satran said. The “young” style is more indirect and conciliatory.
“I grew up in a newsroom where everyone was confrontational,” she said. “The loudest guy won. That’s all changed, and older guys might not get it. Interrupting someone and being direct might not be effective.” Younger people, she said, tend to be more indirect; this isn’t necessarily bad or good, just different, and “for an older person who wants to survive and thrive, he needs to get on board with the changes.”
Here’s an example of how the generations may butt heads: Lisa Orrell, who has written two books about what she calls millennials — those now in their 20s — and conducts workshops for them, said she often heard complaints from younger workers about the curt tone from managers and bosses. They feel disrespected when they are ordered, rather than asked, to do something, when they are commanded rather than requested.
And maybe baby boomers have themselves to blame. After all, we are the generation that raised our children through negotiation, who explained why it was important to visit Grandma or wear a jacket rather than using the all-purpose “because I told you to.”
So a younger worker could easily anger an older manager by questioning why she has to do a certain task instead of just putting her head down and getting on with it. And an older manager who brusquely says, “Just do it,” or recounts how much tougher things were in his time, could easily — if unknowingly — help widen the generation gap.
“I advise managers to take a step back and try to explain to workers why it’s important what they do and how it will build on the goals they have in the company,” Ms. Orrell said.
But the etiquette divide can swing both ways. For example, most people of my generation, trained to write thank-you notes, find failure to answer an e-mail just plain rude. But, Ms. Satran said, it often means the person you wrote to is so inundated with information that he forgot. Don’t take it as a deliberate slight. If it happens, persist politely by calling or sending follow-up messages. If you continue to receive no answer, take it as a rejection. That’s the modern, nonconfrontational way.
Robert Butler, who is 82 and president of the International Longevity Center, a research organization, said he certainly agreed that older workers would benefit if they embraced rather than rejected novelty.
“My personal plea is for old people to get with it, technologically and in other ways,” Mr. Butler said.
Or, as Ms. Satran says, “Be open rather than skeptical, curious rather than dismissive, accepting rather than defensive.”
And sometimes the generations can synchronize wonderfully. A comment on a recent blog post on Ms. Satran’s book applauded the disappearance of voice mail: “At almost 48, I am definitely old, and all I can say about that whole voice mail thing is, ‘Thank GOD — finally freed from this hateful tyranny.’ Well done, young people. Well done.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/07/yo...ortcuts&st=cse
And I don’t mean old as in groaning when you get off the couch or driving an Oldsmobile. (Oops, they’re not made anymore.) It’s far more subtle than that. It means wearing a watch (young people just check their cellphones), counting out exact change and still using a landline.
Does it even matter if my actions give away my age? We all grow old, even the coolest among us, and there’s not a whole lot we can do it about it. Do I really want to wrap my brain around the latest Internet fad or celebrity of the month just to appear young?
See, there I am being cynical and defensive, which is an old attitude (see No. 177), says Pamela Redmond Satran, author of the book “How Not to Act Old: 185 ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame” (HarperCollins, $14.99).
The point, she says, is not to look like a 26-year-old or even to necessarily act like one, but to be open to the fact that times have changed. And if we 40-plus-year-olds refuse to acknowledge that, we’re only punishing ourselves.
This is particularly true in the workplace. Much of the baby boom generation is going to want to — and, in many cases, going to have to — stay on the job longer. “But we won’t be working with our fellow septuagenarians, but with people our children’s ages,” Ms. Satran says.
Now, the generation gap is nothing new. In fact, it seems most people have recognized it since at least 40 years ago. In a Pew Research Center survey released this summer, 79 percent of respondents said they thought there was a generation gap, slightly higher than the 74 percent who answered affirmatively to the same question in a 1969 Gallup poll.
What’s interesting is that the generational divide is far less obvious than in the 1960s. Parents and their children dress similarly now, at least in casual clothes, and may listen to some of the same music. We don’t hear the ’60s slogan “You can’t trust anyone over 30,” but that’s probably because our children are silently texting it rather than shouting it.
Yes, much of what divides us now is technology. According to the Pew survey, while three-quarters of adults age 18 to 30 say they use the Internet daily, only four in 10 adults age 65 to 74 do so.
With cellphones, the difference is even greater: of adults 65 and over, just 5 percent get most or all of their calls on a cellphone, and only 11 percent sometimes use their cellphones to text. For adults under the age of 30, 72 percent use their cellphones for most or all of their calls, while 87 percent text. And according to my informal survey of two children living in my house, those under 18 years old text, oh, about 100 percent of the time.
The trouble is, even when I think I’m up to date, it turns out I’m not. Still sending e-mail? That’s so old. “Leave it to the evil young to get all of us old people addicted to e-mail and then to abandon the form in favor of texting and Facebook,” Ms. Satran writes. If you’re already hopelessly hooked on e-mail, like I am, just make them short and sweet — no rambling missives.
Do you obligingly leave a voice mail after the beep? Don’t bother if you’re calling someone younger than 30. They don’t listen to them. To see who called, they look at the missed calls on their cellphone (because they don’t use landlines, remember?).
But it’s not all about technology. Some of it is just attitude. The “old” management style was often harsh and combative, Ms. Satran said. The “young” style is more indirect and conciliatory.
“I grew up in a newsroom where everyone was confrontational,” she said. “The loudest guy won. That’s all changed, and older guys might not get it. Interrupting someone and being direct might not be effective.” Younger people, she said, tend to be more indirect; this isn’t necessarily bad or good, just different, and “for an older person who wants to survive and thrive, he needs to get on board with the changes.”
Here’s an example of how the generations may butt heads: Lisa Orrell, who has written two books about what she calls millennials — those now in their 20s — and conducts workshops for them, said she often heard complaints from younger workers about the curt tone from managers and bosses. They feel disrespected when they are ordered, rather than asked, to do something, when they are commanded rather than requested.
And maybe baby boomers have themselves to blame. After all, we are the generation that raised our children through negotiation, who explained why it was important to visit Grandma or wear a jacket rather than using the all-purpose “because I told you to.”
So a younger worker could easily anger an older manager by questioning why she has to do a certain task instead of just putting her head down and getting on with it. And an older manager who brusquely says, “Just do it,” or recounts how much tougher things were in his time, could easily — if unknowingly — help widen the generation gap.
“I advise managers to take a step back and try to explain to workers why it’s important what they do and how it will build on the goals they have in the company,” Ms. Orrell said.
But the etiquette divide can swing both ways. For example, most people of my generation, trained to write thank-you notes, find failure to answer an e-mail just plain rude. But, Ms. Satran said, it often means the person you wrote to is so inundated with information that he forgot. Don’t take it as a deliberate slight. If it happens, persist politely by calling or sending follow-up messages. If you continue to receive no answer, take it as a rejection. That’s the modern, nonconfrontational way.
Robert Butler, who is 82 and president of the International Longevity Center, a research organization, said he certainly agreed that older workers would benefit if they embraced rather than rejected novelty.
“My personal plea is for old people to get with it, technologically and in other ways,” Mr. Butler said.
Or, as Ms. Satran says, “Be open rather than skeptical, curious rather than dismissive, accepting rather than defensive.”
And sometimes the generations can synchronize wonderfully. A comment on a recent blog post on Ms. Satran’s book applauded the disappearance of voice mail: “At almost 48, I am definitely old, and all I can say about that whole voice mail thing is, ‘Thank GOD — finally freed from this hateful tyranny.’ Well done, young people. Well done.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/07/yo...ortcuts&st=cse